Dear Suhas..

I have so much to say to you I'm not sure where to start. Even if you don't actually read this I hope the best for us both in friendship and life in general even if we drift apart like we have already started to do.

First of I wanted to say, your right. I didn't love you. I loved the idea of you. The feeling of freedom and hope I use to get from being around you. I'm sorry I kept trying to hold on to something that never really existed. Something that like most people in life comes and goes. It was selfish of me.

If you really cared about me how I thought you did you wouldn't have been so ashamed to call me your girlfriend or to tell people you weren't single. It wasn't that I didn't trust the girls I didn't trust you because I knew how you really felt.

I guess I'm a hypocrite myself. I wasn't honest about my feelings and I never told you how I really felt and real relationships arn't built off fantasy but rather trust. I care about you so much and I may never know what love really feels like but I can't help but act on my feelings for you which is why I've been by your side this long and have never given up.

I wonder if there is really anything you have to say to me about all this. I wonder if our friendship will ever be the same. I'm not the kind of girl to let someone see me weak yet thats how you made me feel. Weakness is human, its real, it means freedom of emotions and it was exilerating to know that I was capable of still feeling emotions towards someone.

There is so much I've been thinking about that I'm sure I wont be able to say it all to you. I just want you to know that its ok.